We Got Lost In The Jungle?!?!?! Elder Sermeno Got A Microwave?

Wow! Qué la que hay! Holy crap, how is it already P-day? Mission time is so wack. It's like every day feels long, but the weeks go by like a flash. It's insane because I don't know what day of the week it is usually until daily planning, lol!

Okay, so this P-day we decided to go see a cool water hole in the mountains of Puerto Rico. (Basically a tiny hill, lol, but tons of jungle and trees and lizards and iguanas.) Wow, that was so funny. So we parked and some guy said something in Spanish, and I'm like, "I don't know." I am thankful for companions and kids in my district that understand. Basically, this guy wanted us to park somewhere else because we were across the street from a church, and we shouldn't be on their camera. So we ignored him and went to the trail. So we walked on this trail to the cave and the little forest hole. We walked probably like half a mile, and we see it. It's good, all is well and cool. And there are these Polish people on some tourist tour, and the tour guide is like, "Here, eat this, but don't chew the seeds." (It was a passion fruit or parcha in Spanish.) And she's like, with this broken English, sounds very Polish, so it's way funnier. "Why no eat seeds?" "Is my stomach going to explode?" It was absolutely so funny. We were all laughing, lol. It's not bad to chew the seeds; they're just tart. So it was true, don't chew parcha seeds, but they are edible, lol. Anyways, we see the cave and we go back to the main trail. This is where it got so bad, lol. We decided to go right, which was not back towards the car, it was further on the trail. We wanted to know what was after. After about 30 minutes of walking on this trail through the jungle, I said we should turn around because I am lazy and the more we walk away from the car, the more we have to walk back. But they told me to callete (shut up), and we kept walking, hahah. So we end up walking around through the jungle for an hour and end up in a giant field. We went through the field and ended up in another pueblo (town). Well, we pulled up Google Maps, and we were 4 miles from the car. So instead of deciding to go back, we decided to walk around a mountain through the city, and we walked like 7 miles that day, lol. It was so funny. Halfway through, I had to pee, and they were laughing so hard, lol. My district is funny.

Elder Sermanos Microwave - So, Elder Sermano, this kid in my district, lives in the Vega Baja house. The kid is literally so funny. If you've ever just met someone who is so sarcastic and acts like they hate you, and then secretly is like our dad. They just love us so much and would do anything for you. That's him. He's super sarcastic and acts all tough, but he's a giant teddy bear. Anyways, he's literally the weirdest but funniest kid, and it's a lot funnier if you know him. But we had a zone conference last week and had a whole checklist of stuff we need in our apartments. Then we went through it, and you would tell Hermana Walker, and she will get it for you. Anyways, we had that conference with Elder Nielson last week, and we all leave.Anyways, we had that conference with Elder Nielson last week, and we all left. In the night, we found out this dude asked for a microwave, and we have no idea why he had a microwave that works and that they still use. We just don't understand, and we asked him, and he said to not question his intelligence. But it's just so weird because we don't get it, and we just wonder what Hermana Walker thinks. Actually, with him, she doesn't question things, lol. But it's so funny because he lives in the Vega Baja house, which is a four-man house, so all three of the other elders didn't even know he asked for it. So he just walks into the Vega Baja house with a new microwave, and then in the photo, he looks like a proud dad. So now every time I see him, I take a picture with him and a microwave, lol.

We made a fire meal that the elders introduced to me called a pizzadilla, which is exactly what it sounds like: a quesadilla with pepperoni. It is the most fire meal, I think I have had in my life. It's so simple and tastes so amazing. I absolutely recommend eating that if you haven't. Actually, I take that back, still doesn't beat mac and cheese, but a close second.

We had exchanges this week, and I got to go to Vega Baja with Elder Seneca... he's so cool. Anyways, we finished district counsel, and he's like, "Yo, we're freakin' eating at an investigator's house right now," and I was like, "Okay" (Elder Seneca says "freakin'" in every sentence). It's so funny, he's like, "She just said she's making us freakin' fire pasta," and I'm like, "Okay, thank goodness it's not chicken." Then he listens to another voice message from the lady, and she has a freaking Indian Spanish accent. It's so funny, like Middle Eastern. It's so funny. Anyways, he listens to it and says, "Oh no, she just said she's making freaking chicken" (everyone in the district knows about my hatred for chicken). So he's like, "We will have to pray for you," and I'm like, "Yeah, probably." Then we get there, and she gives us MAC AND CHEESE (with ham), and mac and cheese is my favorite food. I really felt God's love for me in that moment. I was like, "Let's go! It's mac y queso! Vamos!" It was so freaking sick.

Then we went to Taco Maker. I got Elder Seneca to go. He literally hates Taco Maker, and I convinced him, well, I kind of forced him, to go for dinner because he doesn't have his driving privileges since he got pulled over. So I was in charge of the zone leader. I had so much power. I found out they sell virgin piña coladas at Taco Maker, so I got one, and I will be getting more piña colada everywhere. It's sick. It's so yum, and I get it 24/7, so that's hype. This kid still hates Taco Maker, but listen to this, he goes to Taco Maker, a Mexican restaurant, and buys chicken nuggets. Like, bruh, that's like me going to India and buying pizza, which is Italian. That doesn't even make sense.

Then we went to Taco Maker. I got Elder Seneca to go. He literally hates Taco Maker, and I convinced him (well, I kind of forced him) to go for dinner because he doesn't have his driving privileges since he got pulled over. So I was in charge of the zone leader. I had so much power. I found out they sell virgin piña coladas at Taco Maker, so I got one, and I will be getting more piña colada everywhere. It's sick. It's so yum, and I get it 24/7, so that's hype. This kid still hates Taco Maker, but listen to this: he goes to Taco Maker, a Mexican restaurant, and buys chicken nuggets. Like, bruh, that's like me going to India and buying pizza, which is Italian. That doesn't even make sense.

We had interviews this week with our zone, and we were all at the chapel. The hermanas were telling Hermana Skinner that they have a rat infestation. There was a pregnant rat in their garage, and it gave birth. The poor hermanas had baby rats all over their house, and one of them stepped on one and hurt it. Then they put it in a container (ew, stop, what are they thinking? They hurt a baby rat, that's still gross, just kill it). They let it suffer. Here's the part I don't get: they let it suffer, then they decide to run it over and ran over other babies. It's like they had a heart, then they did a 180 and started running over baby rats. Lol, I wish I could run over baby rats... wait, what? Anyways, I promise I'm not evil (13b, I promise I'm not Syd).

My crackhead dream night - So I had a dream that I was having sleep paralysis in my dream, so it was like a dream inside a dream. And I woke up and was like being pinned down by a black cloud/spirit, which was Satan. And then I was in my room in Utah yelling for my mom. And then I woke up and looked, and the door to our room was open. So I went to shut it, and there wasn't a door where it was supposed to be to shut it. And so I yelled, "Elder, are you in the bathroom?" And my comp was laying in his bed (you know when you aren't fully awake and your brain is like mushy, that was me, I was lost and confused). Then he said nothing, so I laid back down and didn't think about it anyways.

Here's his perspective: I'm sleeping, and as I'm yelling for help in my dream, I was sleep talking and woke him up. And he heard groaning and "no," and then I said, "Help." And he's over here thinking I'm crazy. Then he saw me sit up and go to hit the door and lean over my bed for a few seconds, then say, "Elder." Then he said nothing because if I needed him, I would've said it twice. So he was awake and just ignored me. Lol, it was so funny when we woke up and talked about it because apparently he had a dream that Satan looked like the Grinch that night, and he kept telling Satan he looked so goofy and green. And us two were bullying Satan in his dream. So apparently we were possessed that night, and both were dealing with Satan in spirit, and it was portraying as stupid dreams in our human mind. Idek.

We ran the Facebook page on Saturday. That was pretty boring, lol. Ngl, I hated sitting on a computer all day. I felt so useless.

This week, I was studying in 2 Nephi, like 25-33, and I learned a lot. But one thing I really thought was cool is in one of the verses in 29, God says, "Why wouldn't you want more of my word," which is when He's talking about people rejecting the Book of Mormon. And it's true, why are we (and people mostly that aren't of our faith) so prideful and not willing to hear what they need to hear? And God was like, "You're so stupid, why don't you want more of my word?" So it's more clear, lol. So I liked that 'cause it's true. We should always feast on God's word and His teachings.

Also, I have been reading a lot of Isaiah, and I actually get it. I read in Nephi that to understand Isaiah, you have to have the spirit. So I prayed for the spirit and have been reading in the Bible, Isaiah. It's so freaking good, oh my gosh. Now I understand why Jesus said to feast on the words of Isaiah. He talks a lot about the Second Coming and the First Coming and the taking over of Babylon, which is the start of the Book of Mormon. He also talked about the coming forth of the gold plates to the unlearned, who was Joseph Smith, which was so cool because there's evidence of Joseph Smith and the Book of Mormon in the Bible. It actually talks about it.

Also, lots of the chapters in Isaiah and 2 Nephi (the Isaiah chapters) talk about how the proud will perish and be humble, and they will be hiding from God in caves and stuff. I think, anyways. The point of this is also that the rich will be too caught up on their idols of cars and money and houses, and that's also an idol we shouldn't worship. Anyways, the main thing is God doesn't like pride, made evident in the Book of Mormon and also the Sermon on the Mount. I like to think when Jesus is talking to the most people, He would've talked to, He would give a message He thinks is super important, which is Matthew 5. So mainly, I've learned: don't be prideful, God hates it, also Jesus hates it. Be humble, love each other. And one thing I liked is God will cause earthquakes and whirlwinds, and the earth will tremble, but His hand is still stretched out. It's literally so cool how merciful and willing He is to take us back if we just repent. Just repent. He just wants our heart. He knows we aren't going to be perfect, but He just wants us to try. Literally, that's all He wants. He wants us to try to follow Him and try to be better. His grace is sufficient to all (Isaiah 6-9, go study those). 2 Nephi 19:17, "Therefore the Lord shall have no joy in their young men, neither shall have mercy on their fatherless and widows, for everyone of them is a hypocrite and an evildoer, and every mouth speaketh folly. For all this, His anger is not turned away, but His hand is stretched out still." And in verse 12, "For all this, His anger is not turned away, but His hand is stretched out still." And 2 Nephi 20:4, 2 Nephi 24:26-27. And then His promise in chapter 28, verse 32, "Wo be unto the gentiles," saith the Lord of hosts. "For notwithstanding I shall lengthen out mine arm unto them from day to day" (He knows we will keep messing up, but He sent His Son. Him and Christ are willing to forgive. They just want our heart). "They will deny me; nevertheless, I will be merciful unto them," saith the Lord God, "if they will repent and come unto me, for mine arm is lengthened out all day long." Holy, this is super powerful. I literally love the Isaiah chapters, and in the Book of Mormon, it's better because it's Isaiah and Nephi both talking. Holy.

Anyways, don't be proud. Have humility (don't worry, I am definitely working on it too. I hate Catholics and need to learn to love them, lol. And I am not better than them, but I think I am). Man, I hate Catholics. They're so wrong, and they literally don't even follow the Ten Commandments, and they act like they worship, but then don't even care (see, I need to have humility and love, lol).

We had a sleepover with the Isabela Elders last Sunday (Isabela is an area here), and we had a mega bed. Had a 4-man slumber party. It was so lit, hahahah.

We found Robert, the tree frog. He took a pic with me. It was so sick!

Carmen is on a date (September 10th). She's nervous about commitment because of her ex-husband, so she doesn't want to rush. But please pray for her so she can have confirmation baptism is the right thing.

Elder Christensen's quotes of the week:

"How fast do you want to go home? I can get Hermano Cabrera's gun. You tell me how fast you want to go, and I will shoot the organ. That will be about that time."

"Baptism is so funny. We literally just prank people. We are like, 'Ha, dunked you.' 'Ha, dunked you.'"

"You still never told me how fast you want to go home."

(I don't know why he's saying that. I love my mission, and I wouldn't go home unless I had to.)

If you're reading this, missions are the move. If you're thinking about it, stop. The answer is yes, always will be yes. I have never been so happy in my life. I can't even describe the joy and peace I feel and the happiness. I realized when I laid down and said goodnight to my companion on Friday night, and I just had this big smile on my face, I LOVE LIFE. I love this gospel, I love Jesus, I love the Book of Mormon, and I love being a missionary. It is the best decision I have ever made. So if you're thinking about it (obviously pray and ask God if you should), but the answer from me is YES, GO. Go serve. I have never smiled so much in my life. And if you know me, you know I am always happy and always smiling, so how could I be more happy? You don't get it either, but it is how it works. I AM SO HAPPY.

Stats:

2 burritos from Taco Maker, 8 total on the mission.

100 new Spanish words.

Write me, tell me how school is! How work is! How life is! Let me know what's up with you! I'd love to hear it.

Con besos, Elder Dos.