Piss Floor....The Toilet Is Broken So Just Go On The Floor (You Might As Well)

Que la que hay? ¿Cómo están? ¿Cómo fue su semana?

English is a fake idioma. Like, I don't even know how I am typing this. I feel like I don't know English or Spanish. I just feel like a brain dead fool, to be honest. Like, English is not real. I don't know how I lived in a country that speaks English. Like, what even is that? How is English real? It seems like a fever dream. Like the idea of going outside and everything being in English. The idea of going to the drive-thru and not having to try so hard to communicate what I want. The idea of understanding what they're asking you. The idea of understanding church. Like, English is fake. I don't know. I just can't explain it in words how I feel. I literally think I might forget English. It doesn't even make sense to me how I am just thinking, talking, and typing in this fake language right now. I don't know Spanish, but I am a thousand times better than last week and a month ago, and it's slowly coming little by little. I am so close to the breaking point. I was told 3 months and you start to understand. I am at 2 months fully immersed. I want to start taking off and knowing what's happening. It's exciting to think that hopefully a year from now, I will know another language, but also, I am scared I am going to forget English. My brain thinks it's not a real language anymore. How could our whole country speak it? It doesn't make sense. All I know is Spanish and not understanding. I kind of miss knowing what's happening and my brain not being cooked. Pienso que mi cerebro es frito. Estoy un bobo. Estoy bregando.

PRuebs @ ifykyk.

Entonces el título del email es acerca de una experiencia tuvimos. Elder Christensen and I have been joking about the title of this email all week, and here's why. (Can't tell who was who, I want you guys to come to your own conscience and vote for the culprit.) So one of us woke up 15 minutes before the alarm went off and went pee, but they sat down and didn't feel any pee leak out of the crack of the toilet on their leg. Then the other one went pee in the morning and came out after. Then when we looked in el baño, there was a puddle on the floor. (We can't assume because we didn't smell it, and we just mopped it up. Our toilet does run on its own sometimes, so it's possible it could have been water, but highly unlikely.) So then we went the whole rest of the week accusing each other of peeing on the floor. It's okay, Elder. I'm not mad that you didn't have your glasses and missed the toilet and peed on the floor. And my shorts would have been wet because I was lazy and peed like a girl, lol. Also, I was peeing in the dark, so it could've been me. (To be honest, I'm pretty sure it probably was me because I would do something like that, but who cares? There's no evidence it was me, so I am blaming him.) As well, he did suspiciously come out and say there's a puddle there, and when I was in there stepping, there was no puddle, and I didn't have any wet spot on my shorts or my garments or my legs, and it would've been on me if it went through the crack, so I am pretty sure it was him. Do cockroaches pee? By chance, can we blame them for leaking on our floor?

Going on, yesterday we had a lesson with Armando, some guy we met a while ago. So we get there, and I have to pee, but it's fine. I can handle it for a 30-minute lesson, right? Wrong. The guy had so many questions on polygamy, tithing, homosexuality, the Book of Mormon, and the scripture in the Apocalypse about not adding to the Bible. The weirdest thing he argued is for 30 minutes he told us we, as missionaries, should and have to accept money. Anyways, we are here for an hour and 45 minutes, and in the middle, he gave me a water bottle, and I downed the whole thing. So now I have to pee even worse, and I am in so much pain. We get in the car, and I am like, "Bro, I got to piss so bad." And he's like, "Want me to ask him? We're 20 minutes away." I'm like, "Nah, I can make it." It was so painful. Then we are driving, and I asked him if this is what birth feels like, an exploding bladder. And he tells me he doesn't know; he's never given birth. Fair point, he got me there. Then we get on Carretera 22; he could've sped a tiny bit, like 2 over, but he goes 5 under to cause me pain. Then he takes the road with every speed bump and slowly hits every pothole with my side of the car, so I am just getting bumped up and down like crazy. I thought my bladder was going to pop like a balloon. It was horrible.

We've had 5 lightning storms this week, and they are aggressive. Holy, I don't know what it is, but the thunder here is so loud, and our house shakes. It's kind of wild. Last night, I don't know what time, this rain hitting our window woke me up. Then I hear thunder that was so loud. I go, "Did you hear that, Elder?" (Elder Christensen wakes up to anything, lol). He goes, "Ya," apparently he didn't and I woke him up, but I don't know how or why he said "ya," then. He must've been asleep and delusional, lol.

During one of the thunderstorms, it was raining harder than I have ever seen rain in my life. We were going to the church, and as a missionary with a car, you have to back someone out. Let me tell you, I was in the rain for 5 seconds, and I literally was as wet as I would've been if I just jumped out of the pool. I was soaked.

Now, after all these stories and more that I have and have had on my mission, I want to talk about missions for a second to those who are reading this. If you have ever thought of a mission, the answer is yes. I will never ever say don't go. You shouldn't want to not go either. I have never learned so much and grown and been so happy. Every day you are focusing on Christ and His gospel, you are accomplishing things. You are meeting people and making experiences that you couldn't get for a lifetime. You meet the weirdest and coolest kids in the world. As my zone leader says every time I say something, "What even are missions, bro?" You get to have the funnest and coolest experiences ever. All these awesome kids and amazing friends you make. Elder Christensen and I definitely don't have the same things in common, but it's like a brotherhood. I love this kid a lot. I have lived with him for 2 months, I know him really well, and I will live with him for 4 more weeks and get to know him better. Missions are dope, they are a blessing. There's one thing I want you to remember: nothing in this life, except for experiences and memories, can you take to the next life. Nice cars, money, girlfriends/boyfriends, college diploma, nothing, none of it matters in the next life. We are sent here to learn and grow and return to our loving Heavenly Father. So why not come make the best memories of your life because they are awesome? And missions are tough, they really are, but they are so worth it. At the end of the day, you're just happy. It's joy vs fun. Missions aren't always fun in every moment, but you always have an endless joy that you have never felt before. It is the greatest thing you could do with your life at the age of 18-22. You learn so much and learn how to do so much in such a good way, if that makes sense. You learn to love. If you're scared, stop it. YOU CAN ALWAYS SAY WHY YOU TRIED AND FAILED, BUT NEVER WHY YOU DIDN'T TRY. If you're thinking about a mission and are hesitant, stop it. You can always change your mind and come home, but you're only young once. You can always say why you tried and failed, and never why you didn't try. Also, if you're worried about missing family, your family is eternal, you can take them to the next life too, and you get to call them once a week. It's really not bad. If you don't want to go, and you're going for your parents, good. You honor thy father and thy mother, and you will prosper in the land for keeping His commandments. I love my life, I love my mission. I just want you guys to think about this (kids thinking about going): if you know me, you know how happy I am as a person. I am happy 24/7, but I have never been so happy in my life. It's crazy. I didn't think it got better, but it does. It gets better. D&C 4:3, "Therefore, if ye have desires to serve, ye are called to the work." Now, isn't that an amazing promise? That if you just have the slightest desire to serve, God wants you. If you think it's not His plan for you, it is. He wants you to serve. Now, you might be asking why He tells some people not to go, and that's where you're wrong. He doesn't tell them not to go; He just gives them a direction for a better plan. But if they choose a mission, their life would still work. If you want to serve, He wants you to serve. If you don't want to serve, you should. It's the greatest thing I've ever done, ever, and I wouldn't change any decision I made to be out here for the world. I love it.

I want to talk about my weekly/monthly/missionary studies as I've been out here. Everywhere I read talks about pride. So I am going to talk about pride (you learn something twice as good when you teach it, and I need that). I also need to work on pride as well. There are countless scriptures that mention pride in the Book of Mormon. One thing I want to start with is that pride is a very misunderstood sin. Most of us think of pride as self-centeredness, conceit, boastfulness, arrogance, or haughtiness. All of these are elements of the sin, but the heart or core is still missing. The central feature of pride is enmity, enmity toward God and enmity toward our fellowmen. Enmity means "hatred toward, hostility to, or a state of opposition." It is the power by which Satan wishes to reign over us. Pride is essentially competitive in nature. We pit our will against God's. When we direct our pride toward God, it is in the spirit of "my will and not thine be done." As Paul said, they "seek their own, not the things which are Jesus Christ's" (Philip. 2:21). Our will in competition to God's will allows desires, appetites, and passions to go unbridled (Alma 38:12; 3 Ne. 12:30). The proud cannot accept the authority of God, giving direction to their lives (Hel. 12:6). They pit their perceptions of truth against God's great knowledge, their abilities versus God's priesthood power, their accomplishments against His mighty works. The proud want to have God listen to them; they don't want to listen to God. Another part of pride is enmity towards our fellow man. The proud make every man their adversary by pitting their intellects, opinions, works, wealth, talents, or any other worldly measuring device against others. In the pre-earth life, Lucifer put his plan above Christ's and wanted all the glory. It was pride that made Lucifer fall. Through pride, Christ was crucified, through pride, Abinidi was killed. King Noah was going to release him, but an appeal to his pride and his wicked priests caused him to murder him. Fear of judgment or men's approval causes pride. The proud fear the judgment of men over the judgment of God. "The praise of men more than the praise of God" (John 12:42–43). The proud depend upon the world to tell them whether they have value or not. Their self-esteem is determined by where they are judged to be on the ladders of worldly success. They feel worthwhile as individuals if the numbers beneath them in achievement, talent, beauty, or intellect are large enough. Pride is ugly. It says, "If you succeed, I am a failure." If we love God and do His will, fear His judgment over men's pride cannot prevail. Pride is a damning sin in the true sense of that word. It limits or stops progression (Alma 12:10–11). As Alma said, we can be compelled to be humble or choose to be humble (Alma 32:16). Pride is one of the most hated sins of God, and yet we all do it. We need to be curious, start asking questions. I have found when I am curious and ask questions, I judge less and love more. One story I love to explain this is that Christ knew us before this earth, and He knew our hearts. If we just asked questions, we would know them and know their hearts. Why don't we judge our loved ones as much when they make a mistake? It's because we know their hearts, we know who they are. We need to be curious. Going on with the story of Peter cutting off the ear of Malchus, immediately Christ healed this man. Why? This guy was a Pharisee trying to imprison Him and kill Him. But Christ does not judge; He heals him because He loves this man. He knew him in heaven, and He knew his heart. The natural man is an enemy to God (Mosiah 3:19). Christ knows our spirits, and we can know each other's spirits if we were just curious. Let us choose to be humble and be curious. Now, back to missions. Think of the tens of thousands of additional young men and couples who could be on missions, except for the pride that keeps them from yielding their hearts unto God. Choose to be humble. I have had to do this as well, and I need this more than everyone (a humble person wouldn't know they are humble because they're so humble. So if you think that you are pretty humble, humble most of the time, you're not. You need to join us and work on it). Also, I HIGHLY RECOMMEND THE TALK "Beware of Pride" by Spencer W. Kimball. You will learn a lot!

This week we finally got a shower heater, so when I got here, I had no hot water (really humbles you). I was so sad. I have to go 2 years without hot water. Then at zone conference, I found out we are supposed to have a water heater. So I talked to the senior missionaries, and they came this week and fixed our house: new light bulbs and a water heater. I was so excited to shower. I don't know why I was so excited to have hot water. Being here in Puerto Rico, I have lots of things that are different like that, that I just took for granted way too often. Another reason I love my mission is that it's making me have an appreciation for things I used to not have an appreciation for (like took for granted, you know?).

I love God, and I love Jesus, and I love the earth. 2 Nephi 2:14 says, "And now, my sons, I speak unto you these things for your profit and learning; for there is a God, and he hath created all things, both the heavens and the earth, and all things that in them are, both things to act and things to be acted upon." This is my favorite scripture if you know my story. Anyways, it also talks about the earth. I love the earth so much. This week, I got to see the beach, the sea, palm trees, flowers, a full moon, lightning, a rainbow, and the jungle. It was so fun, and I love it. The earth truly is evidence of God, and I love it. Everything He created is so beautiful.

I want to brag a little about my mission because it's so good. Spanish culture, Caribbean island, under the US, so its government is good. New language and like a totally different country. People are so nice and warm all year. In the Caribbean, the ocean is beautiful, and in the jungle, it's so green. It literally gives us that separate country vibe. I literally have the best mission. We have A/C, and now I have hot water!!! I get to call my family every week, and we don't have to knock countless doors because we do lots of calls. I literally have it so good. I am so lucky, and I love it. Puerto Rico is the best mission on the planet!