Week 16 In The Sun Of The Ponce

4/4 conferences. Dang, that conference was literally a modern-day 3 Nephi. Literally covered every topic from 3rd Nephi and shouted it out like 7 times. As me and Elder Bishopp were saying, if you want a conference where the Lord himself would appear, that's what he would say. Contention is devilish. He is the Savior; he talked about his resurrection and atonement, covenants and baptism, the doctrine, covenants, and the Sermon on the Mount Christlike attributes. Can we talk about the fact that Elder Oaks got up and just read Jesus? And that none of the talks were correlated, purely guided by the Spirit. Talk about the new Easter story of 3 Nephi, and then they delivered a modern-day 3 Nephi. The Savior literally guided that conference.

Here are some one-liners that stuck out to me:

"Never give up an opportunity to testify of Christ."

"Bear testimony of what you know and believe and what you feel, not just of what you are thankful for."

"We cannot stand as witnesses of Jesus Christ until we can bear witness of him."

"Danny wasn't lost, and neither are we to the Lord. He stands at the door to lift us, to strengthen us, and to forgive us."

"The idea of repentance as the pathway to joy may seem contradictory, as repentance can sometimes be an uncomfortable or painful process. It requires admitting that some of our thoughts and actions, even some of our beliefs, may be wrong."

Overall, a really good conference. Even if not all the talks made sense for one's life journey, it was amazing to see the correlation between the speakers.

We had a zone conference this week as well, and it was awesome to see the zones and everyone there. This was one of my favorite things that President Skinner did, and he did it again. We had a Passover meal. Like last year, it was very spiritual, especially to learn the symbolisms and be one of the oldest in the mission. It was cool to have Elder Donaldson on my right and Elder Granados on my left, two amazing missionaries that I was able to be companions with. Eating lunch and talking to them was cool as well. I had to give two training sessions with my companion, and unfortunately, we only prepared for 1 because we didn't see the other part. Luckily, we teach every day, so it was easy to improve it.

Thursday morning, we had to get up at 3:45 to drive up to Adjuntas by 5:15 for the holy month the town was doing. They wanted a missionary choir. I don't know why the event started at 5:30, but I do know the view of the stars up in that small town was amazing. They were everywhere and super bright and everything.

The dude we met named Edelmiro that I talked about last week broke up with us Monday evening, so that was a little hard to go through a rejection like that, and he wouldn't explain why.

We also had planned to watch a conference with one of our friends and members, but the friend didn't answer us.

The other friend's daughter had to go to the hospital, so she couldn't watch the conference with us.

The mission sometimes feels like you are doing everything right and nothing is happening. I haven't felt like we've found anyone who has been a really progressing friend since I left Tortola. And I'm not going to give up. I know they are here. I just keep praying to know what to do better, and I don't know what I lack. I believe, and I know it's not easy. I'm pushing forward.

It seems that we find all these cool people down here, and they just can't handle opposition. When the opposition comes, they just give up. That's why I'm so grateful for change and discomfort; it truly helps you just keep going and keep trying, keep pushing towards being better and better. Sometimes you just can't give up, exactly like the conference talk.

"Regardless of the size, scope, and serious challenges we face in life, we all have times when we feel like stopping, leaving, escaping, or possibly giving up. But exercising faith in our Savior, Jesus Christ, helps us overcome discouragement no matter what obstacles we encounter."

"Just as the Savior finished the work He was given to do, He has the power to help us finish the work we have been given."

"We can be blessed to move forward along the covenant path, no matter how rocky it becomes." - Carl B. Cook.

It's been a good life. A good mission I've had. Every day I feel more and more inadequate, even though I have more and more time as a missionary. It's hard to believe that it's almost over. For some missionaries, it's really hard to serve a mission, and they complain about it, and I hear and am so sad. Because the mission for me has been the most amazing experience of my life. You learn the most about life and smarts and religion and everything on the mission. A lot of times, you don't realize what the Lord prepares you for as well. It's sad to know that my time is so short. You only have a lot of days as a missionary, and you can't get them back when it passes. So you got to love every day you can. I just love personal growth and the idea of becoming better and better every day. And when you know what you're doing, your world gets shaken up. "God can only alter our trajectory if we are moving in a direction." - Elder Bishopp's friend (convert of the church) the happiness that one feels and the joy that comes into your life as a missionary. The satisfaction that it brings and the worry-free life you have to live. The warm sun and the beautiful people of Puerto Rico are super funny.

It's super hard for me because my whole mission I've been learning humility and faith. I personally feel those are two huge things, and it's been hard for me because I have not humbled myself to the fact it has to come to an end, to humble myself enough to expect a better life after, to accept the fact that it's not expedient in my life to be a missionary when it's over, my time is coming to an end.

And the faith to trust that God has a better plan for me and that life will be better. I'm just a brainwashed missionary, and I'm so scared of the world. The faith is in Him, not myself. Just the giant fear of going back to who I was before is always there, and that's not what I want.